I’m not at home today, which is a bit odd but somehow I’m incredibly comfortable.
Maybe the comfort is from the fact that I’m alone and there are no sounds of Bargain Hunt or Wii Snooker at 40 volume in the background coupled with the occasional barking of dogs when neighbours pass by.
Or maybe the comfort is from the fact that I have time to get on with my writing whilst being surrounded by the thoughts of someone who makes me happy (even if he isn’t here right now).
I don’t understand. Why does nobody tell the truth? Why don’t we all just speak our minds instead of hiding our true thoughts and feelings? If you want something then you go get it.
I figured this out in 2009. Not so long ago, I know, but at least it happened.
It may take me a long time to be sure on what I want or feel, but when I know that’s the truth of it I’ll go for it. I won’t give up, even if it means waiting for a very long time, because everyone deserves to be happy. And I would rather be happy and true to myself than a miserable liar.
There’s so much going through my head that I don’t know where to start and yet I have an almost eerie calm hanging over me. It’s like part of me is more sure than the rest.
I kind of like that feeling. It’s a weird sort of reassurance that I lost for a couple of years, but it’s back now. There are reasons why it disappeared for a few years. However, I won’t go into those right now. It’s enough for me that the calming notion is back and helping me to stay a little more chilled out despite stresses I feel.
I’ve been feeling stressed for about a week now.
