Dead memories screamed, cloying the grey air. Happy Valentines he’d said. She laughed without feeling. The fairground was empty.
Her fingers ran over the decaying ponies, their merry heads loosed from their bodies. They were still laughing in silent agony where once children had patted their painted muzzles. We hadn’t been to the scene of that crime in years, but you always come back to your first.
Continue reading “Valentine Fiction 3 of 4”
…is an awesome word and also what the snow appears to be right now.
Of course this means wrapping up warmly in my winter jumper again (as you can see above) and taking little white doggies out for walks in the beautiful snowfall. It’s quite lovely, actually, walking them in the dark with the silence and the glitter of white flakes and the lack of people.
I don’t understand. Why does nobody tell the truth? Why don’t we all just speak our minds instead of hiding our true thoughts and feelings? If you want something then you go get it.
I figured this out in 2009. Not so long ago, I know, but at least it happened.
It may take me a long time to be sure on what I want or feel, but when I know that’s the truth of it I’ll go for it. I won’t give up, even if it means waiting for a very long time, because everyone deserves to be happy. And I would rather be happy and true to myself than a miserable liar.
In case you hadn’t guessed by the montage I made in yesterday’s post, I have had a lot on my mind lately. A lot of it hasn’t been my fault and whenever I get to that comfortably numb point something or someone happens again to throw me right off kilter.
It happened in that week after new years with that message that he probably never meant, because that’s the only way I can explain it without hurting all over again and driving myself insane. Besides, if he’d meant it he would have told her the truth, finally ended things the way they should have been ended and turned up to tell me how he actually feels no matter the time of day or where I was.
And yeah, if that happened he’d maybe have a chance.
