Tag: literary agents

& The Cure Ain’t Aspirin

It’s been days since I made an entry. For that, I’m sorry and apologise intensely if you felt you were missing out on my incredibly exciting life, but, if truth be told, I really haven’t felt much like blogging. This is really all because of Saturday.

I went out to see a friend on Saturday during the day. I hadn’t seen him in quite a while so it was nice to have a catch up, plus I think he needed to have a chat and get some things off his chest. Poor little worrier, he is. Anyway, it was nice to have a chat with him. We rarely see each other because we lead such busy lives… apart from me. So really, only he leads a busy life. He has a habit of forgetting to see his friends a lot, though. Most of the time, I don’t think he does it on purpose. He’s just a bit scatty. Anyway, my intentions for the day were to see him for a catch up and then watch Doctor Who followed by writing a piece of flash fiction. The last two things were not achieved, as you may have guessed.

My dog hadn’t been well since the previous day. He was getting really old and his back legs were going through arthritis, but on the Friday.. he just refused to eat. He didn’t want to eat anything. Even stuff he really likes. By about five o’clock on Saturday my mum was getting really upset about it. So she called the vet… And we ended up going to the emergency clinic with him in Bridlington. We had to use a blanket to lift him up into the car because he couldn’t do it with his back legs… and the vet had to help us get him out of the car and across to the surgery. It was horrible. She said he was just old and that it was best just to… well… put him to sleep. So my mum, who was really distressed, agreed. And we both ended up crying. And we stroking him when his heart finally stopped beating. It was horrible, but at the same time it was the best thing we could have done for him.

When we got home, my brother turned around and accused my mum of murdering the dog… which distressed her even more. She asked me if I thought we’d done the right thing. We had. We really had. According to the vet, there seemed to be something wrong with his liver too. Sadly, he was such a big dog that we couldn’t take him home to bury in the garden. Instead we agreed to have him cremated so we can scatter his ashes. I guess it sounds silly wanting to do that for him, but we loved him. He’d been a part of our family for eleven years and now the house seems empty without him. My mum has been rearranging furniture, which is her way of dealing with something that upsets her. Now we just have to wait until we get Ollie’s ashes back so we can put them somewhere nice. I think the cats are missing him.

Anyway, as you can imagine, I really didn’t want to blog about it much and I had nothing else to talk about really.

Other than that, I’ve been revising how to write a proper query letter thanks to reading the Query Shark’s blog. I think I’ve managed it. I damn well hope so. It’s been sent to an agent in the hopes that she decides to say yes. If she does, I’ll be ecstatic. Still, that is only the first step, I realise. After that there’s the fact that the agent needs to be able to get a publisher onside. Still, I’m hopeful. I’ve been getting quite a bit of positive feedback about the excerpts I put up on my site. I linked to them on my facebook recently and there are quite a few people who’ve sent me positive comments on them. If you’ve read the excerpt and you liked them or didn’t like them, as the case may be, please do comment below (you don’t have to log in to post a comment). I really like getting feedback. It helps me to know what I’ve done right and what might need improving.

My plan for the rest of the day is to make some dinner, editing and sending my CV etc for a job, edit Secrets & Ghosts a bit, possibly organise plans for book 4, and then to possibly write a piece of flash fiction to post tomorrow (this latter may or may not get done).

Also, thanks to those people who have given me their condolences over Ollie. I really appreciate it.

(Lyrics in the title are from Here We Go Again by Pixie Lott)

Irritations

I read this recently ‘playing a major roll in the plot’. I shan’t say where it came from or who wrote it except that it was a published author and that it really did annoy me. I realise that published authors are allowed to make mistakes etc too, but I do get annoyed when I see bad spelling and grammar when I know, from researching literary agents, that quite a few of them will pretty much throw away your query if you so much as miss an apostrophe (I did this recently in my haste and I was kicking myself in the teeth when I realised because I knew what kind of impact it would have). So yes, I do get severely wound up when I see published agents who don’t vet their things as thoroughly as the rest of us are supposed to in order to get just a crack at the industry.

And, if you’re asking your self what’s wrong with the little quote I put in, then I am utterly disappointed in you. Roll is right, of course, but not in this context. In this context, the writer meant ‘role’. Surely you should be writing about the roles of your characters enough to get it mixed up, but not that way around! Recently I’ve had cause to write ‘write’ quite a lot and on occasion I’ve had to backspace where I’ve written it in place of ‘right’. The point is, I backspaced. I make sure that what I’ve written is correct. It would be wrong of me not to check what I’m doing when I criticise others for bad spelling and grammar!

Another pet hate is when I see those irritating people who call themselves Grammar Nazis but go ahead and completely misspell grammar. I know that you can blame misspellings on accent, these days, but I have a pretty thick North Yorkshire accent and I don’t misspell it (yes, that’s right. I’m one of those terrible British people – I like queuing and have a penchant for tea… though we just call it a brew in these here parts). I don’t say grammar as it’s spelt. To me, it’s ‘grahmuh’. I bet you’re saying that to yourself now and wondering how anyone understands me. I could go on for ages about my accent. I sometimes have fun sounding it out and writing it down like I would as proper dialogue. In fact, I shall write you a short passage in my accent and if you really want, you can see if you can decipher it and/or say it.

Ah dunno wha’ t’ talk t’ yuh abou’ nouwh. Really ahd lika brhoo bu’ me dad’s inh t’ kitchin faffin’ abouwh whi’ all th’ pots eh’setra. Cuhkin’ annoys ‘im ratha a lorh’. Ennywayh, I ‘ope y’enjoyed yurh lessun in speakhin’ whi’ a Yhawshur acsin’.

Other things that annoy me are the your and you’re problem people on the ‘net seem to be having.

Your = belonging to you
You’re = you are

For example: Your going to the shops.

THIS IS WRONG!!!

Why is it wrong? Because unless you own ‘going’ then the sentence MAKES NO SENSE! And we all know that sentences are supposed to make sense.

What it should be: You’re going to the shops.

And why should it be this? Because you are going to the shops. Suddenly the sentence somehow makes sense, right?

One more example, Those are you’re shoes.

Unless you are a pair of shoes, this sentence IS INCREDIBLY WRONG! If you read it, replacing the apostrophe with the letter you’ve taken out, it says: Those are you are shoes. Now how on Earth does that make any sense?

What it should be: Those are your shoes.

BECAUSE THE SHOES BELONG TO YOU!

I hate how people get than and then mixed up, too, which seems to be happening an awful lot lately. Than = a comparison word. So when you say something is greater or less than something else. Then = what happens next. Then I did this or that. They’re both different.

Also were, where and we’re. I can maybe understand why were and we’re get mixed up because they’re pretty similar looking, bar the apostrophe, but where? How can you get where mixed up in this? Were = the past tense of are. If you are going to do something and you change your mind then you were going to do it. We’re = we are or we were. So if we’re going to the park it means that we are or we were going to the park. All this is simply enough. Then we get to where. Where = a place that you have put something. So the dentist is where a crazy guy with a drill looks in your mouth.

I hope that makes everything clear. I’m getting enraged with people who get these simple things wrong. If you can’t form a correctly spelled, punctuated and grammatically right sentence… then please either don’t speak to me or go back to school. You’ll drive me mad, otherwise. 

Just A Little Crazed…

If you read the time stamp of this entry (if you’re in the UK), you’ll probably realise that I’m writing this at past 3am in the morning. Judging by the amount of typos I’m making, it may well end up past 4am. No. I’m not drunk. I am slightly crazed through lack of sleep and effort to research/find an agent. I will secure one, eventually. It may take me some time, but I am determined. Someone, somewhere, will see through this hazy lair of craziness and realise that I actually can write quite well. That’s not me saying I’m amazing. I’m not amazing. I wish I was, but then, that’s why I don’t like editing so much. I get mad with myself for not having written it perfectly in the first place. What can I say? I’m a fruit cake and a perfectionist.

I’d also rather like a toasted, buttered teacake now… preferably with a mug of tea.

I also have a crazy online family. We seem to have settled into a pattern whereby two of us who frequent my chatroom (me and Andrew, funnily enough) have become parental figures. The other lads who go there look up to us a bit. It’s bizarre and seems to have happened over the years that we’ve spoken to most of them. It amuses me in a way because I really do feel like I could take them home and pretend they were my kids and I was their mother (this is nothing weird, just so you know. They’re all about 14 or above and I wouldn’t want to do anything weird with them anyway. I regard them all like I would teenage sons. I’ll stop digging my hole deeper). Some of them come to us when they have problems or need to discuss things or want help with homework and others make me feel proud of them with what they’ve achieved. The funny thing is that Andrew and I sometimes sit and discuss them as if they really were our kids and we were making sure that they were doing well at school or something. Some of the people who go in our chatroom do not fall under this category. They do fall under the category of family friend, but if they ever upset one of the lads we regard as our kids, they would be have a severe ticking off. The chatroom, by the way, is here if you ever want to visit: http://sinfullydelicious.synthasite.com/chatroom.php

That’s something else I should mention; my parents have put a huge hole through one of the inner walls. That’s right. The wall that goes between their bedroom and the stairway has a huge hole in it. They say they’re putting a cupboard in it… I’m not sure why this required them to put a hole through the wall, though. It leaves me and my younger brother with very little hope. If they have such inadequate amounts of common sense, then what common sense must we be left with?

The Blush In The Sky Begins To Fade

Hope everyone enjoyed the flash fiction. It’s nice to hear feedback on it, especially as it was a piece I wrote for my friend and I had no real direction except that it was to be about water.

Happy holidays to everyone, by the way.

I’m not Christian, but I will enjoy any chocolate sent my way. I really shouldn’t because it’s giving me an awful complexion right now. Luckily, no one seems in a hurry to give me any more, though, so maybe my complexion will be saved. Do I care? No. I’d just like to stuff my face and get fat. My cats would take advantage if I was fat, though. They’d use me like a big beanbag to sit on. They sit on my shoulders and back already when I’m stood up.

Anyway, I just did this quiz on Facebook and I found it interesting so I’ll share the answers with whoever reads this:

You are: The Idealist (INFP) 

In general, INFPs focus deeply on their values, and they devote their lives to pursuing the ideal. They often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. They are creative, and they seek new ideas and possibilities. They quietly push for what is important to them, and they rarely give up. While they have a gentleness about them, and a delightful sense of humor, they may be somewhat difficult to get to know and may be overlooked by others. They are at their best making their world more in line with their internal vision of perfection.

You are clearly an Introvert

You scored 54% in the direction of Introversion, which means you are clearly an Introvert. People who are clearly Introverts are reserved, quiet, and contemplative. They dislike the social pressures of large groups and being the center of attention, but are not necessarily shy. They frequently spend time alone in order to reflect and “recharge”.

You are an iNtuitive

You scored 11% in the direction of iNtuition, which means you are an iNtuitive. iNtuitives like to discuss ideas and tend to approach new information intuitively, focusing on the “big picture” rather than specific details. They find the future more interesting than the past, because they can shape it. While they recognize the value of down-to-earth practicality and concrete experience, they tend to emphasize the importance of imagination and inspiration.

You are a Feeler

You scored 16% in the direction of Feeling, which means you are a Feeler. Feelers are caring, supportive, and appreciative. They naturally reach out to other people, preferring to cooperate and agree rather than argue over who is right. They are comfortable with emotions, both their own and those of others.

You are clearly a Perceiver

You scored 77% in the direction of Perceiving, which means you are clearly a Perceiver. People who are clearly Perceivers lead a flexible, spontaneous lifestyle and avoid making definite plans whenever possible. They get excited by starting something new but find it difficult to finish. They see all sides of every situation, so much so that it is often unclear to them what’s “right”. When faced with a decision, they will put it off for as long as possible in order to consider all their options. Even once the decision is made, they often second guess themselves. 

Which reminds me that I need to have a conversation with my mother. It’s not so much that it reminded me, but I do need to have the conversation with her. It’s going to be awkward, but I don’t know what else to do. I also desperately need to get a job. There’s a lot of stress on my mind at the moment, suffice to say, and I’m not sure how everything is going to work.
In other news, I finished editing Dark Side of the Moon. I’ve asked a friend to proof read it just in case there are any mistakes that either I or Andrew have missed out. I’ve been looking up literary agents in my copy of ‘2010 Writer’s Market: UK & Ireland‘ (which has a web address of http://writersmarket.co.uk if you want to go look it up). The book also has plenty of helpful tips about submitting synopses and queries, so it’s well worth buying. 
(Lyrics in the title are from Magnolia by The Hush Sound)