A Demon In My Safest Haven

It’s strange when the things that you once took for granted as bits of fun and a joke between friends becomes something you suddenly can’t think about any more. I won’t go on about it, though.

Today is one of my good days where I can pretend that nothing has happened and it wouldn’t do to ruin that. Pretending probably isn’t the best thing I can do, but it’s better than remembering every little touch, I guess. I know that if I do that I’ll drive myself to tears and I don’t want to.

Hanging with great friends is helping keep me distracted. Distraction is all I can do for the most part. That and focus on other worries that I have and other stresses. There are so many that I worry I may end up with yet another migraine, dragged on by all my anxious thoughts.

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Taking Charge

Normal people seem to have lazy days where they can hang around in their pyjamas all day and feel perfectly comfortable. Why can I not do that? As soon as I’ve had something to eat with a hot beverage I must be dressed. As I type, I’m sitting in my pyjamas and my dressing gown, but I may pause just t get dressed.

My problem with sitting in my bedclothes is that I start to feel just a little bit like a tramp. It’s like I’m sitting in muck or something and the more I do so the more I will ferment. I can’t stand that feeling. My face begins to feel all greasy and grimy the longer that I sit here until, eventually, I decide to get dressed just so that I can feel more human and fresher.

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