Just Tell The Truth

I don’t understand. Why does nobody tell the truth? Why don’t we all just speak our minds instead of hiding our true thoughts and feelings? If you want something then you go get it.

I figured this out in 2009. Not so long ago, I know, but at least it happened.

It may take me a long time to be sure on what I want or feel, but when I know that’s the truth of it I’ll go for it. I won’t give up, even if it means waiting for a very long time, because everyone deserves to be happy. And I would rather be happy and true to myself than a miserable liar.

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In case you hadn’t guessed by the montage I made in yesterday’s post, I have had a lot on my mind lately. A lot of it hasn’t been my fault and whenever I get to that comfortably numb point something or someone happens again to throw me right off kilter.

It happened in that week after new years with that message that he probably never meant, because that’s the only way I can explain it without hurting all over again and driving myself insane. Besides, if he’d meant it he would have told her the truth, finally ended things the way they should have been ended and turned up to tell me how he actually feels no matter the time of day or where I was.

And yeah, if that happened he’d maybe have a chance.

Continue reading “Dabbling”

“…Each Wish Resign’d…”

I don’t know quite what this is or what you will think of it when you read it.

As you know, I’ve been trying to write poetry to get things out but nothing has manifested itself. My writing is just dying in my hands and I’m not sure what to do with it. There’s probably nothing I can do except to wait it out a bit.

However, I have attempted this in some vague hope that it will pull something through that is more than nothingness.

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The World Was On Fire

Why do you delete somebody out of your life? Maybe because part of you can’t bear that they’re there any more. Or maybe it’s because it hurts to see them, hear them, breathe them…

It’s so easy to erase… at least only with technology.

And typing that has made me realise how I’ve tried to do what Clementine does on a whim in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Except I can’t erase everything. Just like her.

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