A Spider’s Web Is Tangled Up With Me

I need a job. That’s the basics of my life at the moment. 
I need to get a job so I can afford my own car and the doubtless high insurance that will come with it. And then, when I get a job, I can see about sending my manuscript off to an agent. It costs so much to send and I’m so broke that I can’t afford it. Not to mention that my family are broke at the moment too, not that my brother cares nor helps. I seem to be the only one who has all the family problems reported to her and reports none of her own because she doesn’t want to stress anybody else out.
And I’m sick of having to listen to my brother playing his crap music so loudly that even with his door closed and my door closed, plus with the television on in here, I can still hear it… and my room is on the opposite side of the house to his. I’m sick of the way he talks to me and everyone else in this house like we’re something he wiped off the soul of his shoe. I’m sick of the way he stresses everybody out in our family. He gets tonnes of stuff and in return all he gives is grief without even a thank you. 
Sadly, I’m in one of those moods where the only thing that will do is screaming or crying and I can’t do either right now. I wish he would turn his music off, grow up and become somebody halfway decent. There’s no reason for the way he behaves except that he is spoilt and selfish. I want to get down on the floor and cry in a little heap. There are things going on in my head that I can’t discuss here for a change (you’re probably glad – I mean, one less depressing thing for me to whine about, right?) and they’re stressing me out too. I don’t know what I’m going to do about them, but I aim to sort them over this Easter holiday. I’ve done the whole teenage figuring out who I really am thing. I finally know who I am and what I want and what I’m willing to do to get there. I only wish that the people who are supposed to support me had supported me in working that out and hadn’t just hurried me along into decisions I wasn’t ready to make. Luck hasn’t been exactly kind lately, either. There just seems to be too much going on in my head. And there’s the fact that I still wake up thinking of my ex, which I should be over by now, surely.
I think I’m going to try using my melancholy mood to write the final scenes of Book Three, Secrets, of my JLM Series. It needs to be completed. And this kind of mood is the kind that will allow me to concentrate on a different world for hours on end and stay comfortably entrenched there. Who knows? It could even propel me to complete the twenty-third chapter and finish off the epilogue.
In other news, I’m going to put up a poll in regards to what you think of the flash fiction I’ve been writing on here. This is so that if you have an opinion on what I’ve been writing but you don’t necessarily want to leave a comment, then you will have a place to share your thoughts. I’d much prefer you left a comment (especially if you have a random sentence that you think could provoke some really good flash fiction), but I guess less is more. It’s nice to see some feedback on my flash fiction from new people, as well. 
I just want everyone to know that, whilst I may not reply to all comments, I do really appreciate them and thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve written as well as to leave a little something from yourself.
Also, if you want to ask me any questions please do refer to my formspring even though my friend Tim has been trying to make me guess who’s questioning me whilst he pretends he’s an anonymous person. It’s amusing to me, but I appreciate that you might not care to read our weird discussions on furbies, pokemon and other such geeky stuff.

(Lyrics in the title are from Trouble by Coldplay)

This Chaos, This Calamity, This Garden Once Was Perfect

As you may have noticed, my first piece of flash fiction went up today. So let me explain my little tags to help you find it. I’m tagging all of my flash fiction pieces as such ‘flash fiction’. This means that when you go in my labels box, on the right, then you can click to find all of these thus tagged posts. It will give you a list of them in order of most recent first. Secondly, they will also be tagged with ‘flash fiction 500’ or ‘flash fiction 1000’ according to the word count of the post. It may not be exactly that as I’ve given myself a ten percent leeway. This means that I can go over or under the word count by ten percent. Hopefully, that will help you to understand the terms I’ve set out. If you want to suggest something that I should use to write flash fiction then please do so.

I’ve also been editing Dark Side of the Moon. I know I keep going on about this, but really it’s just to inform you of what I get up to. Furthermore, I sometimes like to discuss the new things I’ve edited in. I have to admit that I am incredibly pleased with the effect that the edits are having. They’ve improved the story immensely. When I finally finish the editing process, I’ll be really proud of it. Andrew seems to be enjoying it, anyway. Even if I say so myself, the editing has improved the drama and the quality of writing threefold. I’m nearing three quarters of the way through it and the editing has added on about 20, 000 words to my total word count. Normally, I think, editing depletes your word count, but this hasn’t. I have deleted things, but I’ve also added in a lot of stuff that has vastly improved the story.

I’ve also spent today taking doors off my wardrobe to use in building extra bits on to my desk. I really haven’t got enough space in my room to do things and put things away. It’s dreadful. That’s why I designed a bit to add on to my desk. The desk is something that was thrown together by my mum, anyway, so it’s not going to look too bizarre. I’m putting curtains up, too, in place of my wardrobe doors. I’ve figured that this will make it look a bit neater, anyway. The only problem I now have is that it’s past one o’clock in the morning and all of my stuff is on my bed because my dad didn’t finish it off today. So I’m going to have to move my junk and my TV off my bed. It will all have to go on the floor because there is literally nowhere else to put it. This is why he irritates me. You try to get something done and if you need his help he stalls and ums and ahs and then it’s a year before you can finish off. I mean, I even took all the doors off the wardrobes by myself whilst he sat and watched TV. If he’d helped then we would have finished with that part of my desk and I could have got into bed without having to move so much stuff. Men annoy me – this is a recurring sentiment that you will see a lot when I’m frustrated or angry with various members of my family and other people.

Also, the poll has closed. Thus, The Secrets Were Spilling At The Seams will be henceforth renamed as just Secrets. I realise that this isn’t quite as long as the other title, but it is far less clunky. I will get around to editing things so that the new title is visible instead on websites. However, this will be done some time tomorrow – after I’ve done all that I need to do and got my desk sorted. I haven’t written any more of the ending of Secrets, but that will get sorted soon, too. It’s a complex thing that I have to do so bear with me whilst I gab on about it in future posts. It will take me a while.

I’ll probably find something new to add in as a poll, just for interest’s sake. If I do, it might not have anything to do with what I write in here (though I don’t suppose anyone would notice if that was the case). It might even be a ‘How do you like your eggs?’ thing.

Anyway, I shall try to get myself some sleep (once I’ve extricated my bed from underneath the mess) and I will probably update you tomorrow. Goodnight dear readers.

(Lyrics in the title are from Wine Red by The Hush Sound)

Emerging from the Gentle Grip of Night’s Unfolding Arms

I’m considering writing some flash fiction on here in the future. If you’re unaware as to what that entails, then listen up, please:

Flash fiction is where you write a piece of fiction based on an idea or a statement that you are given. You go with whatever you think of when you get the statement, phrase, question or idea etc. Then, you complete a writing piece on it in either a set number of words or a set time.

Because it’s so quick and spontaneous (hence the name flash fiction) it’s supposed to be a really good way to build up your writing skills (as well as padding those portfolios!), which is why I’m going to start writing pieces. I’m going to add them here and each piece will be titled with ‘Flash Fiction No.#’ so that they will be easier for you to find. Not only that, but I will be tagging them with ‘flash fiction 500’ and ‘flash fiction 1000’ according to how many words I write of each. Pieces may not end up complete as these are literally just quick writing exercises, but hopefully you will enjoy reading through them. I don’t want to write just anything, though, so, if you have a suggestion for a statement that I can base a piece of flash fiction on, please comment below and I will write a piece based on it. These pieces may not be terribly long, but it will help me to improve my writing and for you to see what I can do.

Your flash fiction statement will probably end up being written about, so please comment with one!

Another thing to mention is my formspring account. I know that I keep going on about it, but I’d really like to hear if you have any questions. They can be about my writing or even just something you generally want help with. I’ll try my best to satisfactorily answer the questions that you pose. More questions, however, mean that I get to expand more of them on here if I think I can give you more information and, let’s face it, I clearly love rambling on here.

IMPORTANTLY, (yes I had to caps lock to make sure I got your attention) the poll finishes tomorrow so if you want to get your vote heard then please click on your favourite title on the right.

I thought I would show you the book cover for the first book in the JLM Series, Dark Side of the Moon, which has been designed by Andrew McCluskey (NALGames). This is the current design, but he’s said he’d like to edit it further. I’m not sure when he’ll get around to this, so you can have a look at it’s current state. Personally, I really like it, which is great as Andrew is the one in charge of the graphical content of my new site. He’s also going to be in charge of the flash content. Sean Buller (UnknownGamer), my lovely Canadian friend, is the one in charge of the coding. When they’ve finished my site and set up one of their own to promote their website building skills, I’ll give you a link so that you can take a long hard look at what they can do. What they can do is brilliant, though, and they’re willing to learn new skills to get you what you want. The design of the book cover below, for example, was taken from an amalgamation of ideas that I gave Andrew. None of them were very set because I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted, but he’s managed to come up with something I adore and, when he has a moment, he intends to edit it a little more to make it just that bit more awesome.

I’m still editing Dark Side of the Moon. Nevertheless, I am getting closer to the end of that. The last scenes of Secrets/Spilling Secrets are looking good, even if I say so myself. I’m taking it slowly, though, to make sure that I hammer out every minute detail and get it as perfect as I possibly can. If it’s not perfect, then it just won’t do. Lots happens in it and there are some tense and emotional moments. Furthermore, I think it will beautifully illustrate how much some of the characters have developed since Dark Side of the Moon and how they’ve grown up from the stroppy teens they were, amongst other things.

Anyway, please remember to comment with statements for flash fiction pieces and don’t forget to leave me some formspring questions. Thanks!

(Lyrics in the title are from You Are The Moon by The Hush Sound)

The Butterflies Are Creeping Through My Spine

It must seem like I blog a lot. I do, but it’s because I either have too much going on in my head or I just like to ramble to anyone who’ll listen. Kudos to you if you’ve put up with reading my entries so far. It’s much appreciated. I’d like to think I’m not too boring. If I am, then I sincerely apologise. I realise that nothing I have to say is of much importance in the grand scheme of things, but if it helps you to brighten a dull corner of your time then I’m sure it’s worth it.

How late do you think is acceptable to send a Christmas present? Is now too late? I thought so. I still haven’t sent my friend her present. I’m pretty useless in that respect, as it’s nearly her birthday already and I still haven’t sent it. It’s not that I haven’t meant to, but our post office is out of my way and when I have time to get there it’s usually after it’s closed, which is useless when trying to send a package. She’ll get it eventually, but it may still take a while. It’s sitting off to one side all neatly wrapped. There were originally two like that and there still would be if the person to whom the second parcel was going to be sent hadn’t visited me over New Years. I’m considering waiting to send her the present for her birthday, complete with birthday gift too, instead. I’m a poor, lowly student so I guess it would cost me less to send it as one package than to send two separate packages. I don’t know if that’s true, but that’s what my logic says. Sometimes my logic is a bit shot, though, so I could be entirely wrong. If I am, please inform me. What would be nice to hear is how long anyone else may have delayed in sending anything they were supposed to send. It would be nice to think that I’m not the only one who is just generally rubbish at this kind of thing. And if you’re not rubbish like me and actually had a good reason for postponing then please share. I’m nosey and I like to hear other people’s stories – I think that’s partly why I got myself a formspring account.

You may have noticed that I added a list of links to my various pages and sites on the right. These are not going to be permanent. As soon as my new site is finished and this is iframed in, there will be no need for them as you will be able to use the site navbar to see everything that is described to the right. This is to help with my whole idea of integrating all of my social networking and everything else into one place. Not only does it make it easier for you to find stuff… but it makes it easier for me to show you new stuff! It will be clever and cool like that. As you can probably gather, I am extremely excited by all of this. I will be quite proud of it when it’s done and moreso of the people who are sorting it for me. They really get all of the credit for how it will work out. I am simply giving directions as to what I’d like to see and what I’d like to be attempted. I’m fully aware that some of it may not be possible, but as long as they try as hard as they can (which I’m certain that they will), then I will be pleased and thoroughly grateful. 


This is where you get excited because I have taken a break from constant edits and have started on the last two chapters of what will either be known as Secrets or Spilling Secrets (see the poll to the right and have your say!). It’s a major scene that includes a battle, so I’ve been putting it off a little whilst I did my editing. I wasn’t just putting it off due to the fact that I’ve never written a proper battle scene before, but because I wanted to try to accomplish as much editing as I possibly could before I jumped in. It needs a lot of thought. Certain characters need to be in certain places at certain times to make sure that I can get a particular piece of writing to play out. I realise that this doesn’t sound very difficult, but by places I don’t mean that they need to be in a set room or anything like that. By certain places, I mean that the battle has to be meticulously choreographed so that the characters who die are in the right place to die and the characters who are saved are in the right place to be saved… or the characters destined to die might accidentally live and those who are supposed to live might fall down a rabbit hole or something. Is that as confusing as it sounded in my head?

I’ve only really had to choreograph one scene before and that was definitely not as complicated as a fast battle scene. I have to ensure that I write in third person, too. If you read the formspring question I was asked then you will already know about the viewpoints in the stories: In Shadows & Ghosts I noticed chapters generally alternate between first-person Jocasta and a separate third-person subplot. Do you think of these as paired off, with two consecutive chapters happening simultaneously or is it all chronological? This is done consciously; however, I usually leave the first person scenes to my main MC (unsurprisingly, perhaps, that’s Jocasta Lizzbeth Moonshadow). This is different, though. Jo will be in the scene and yet it is going to be third person. This means I have to make sure that I don’t slip into it by accident. Usually, I like to let Jo tell her story where she can and I write the other things in third person, but in this case it is imperative that Jo does not record it. This isn’t to say that she wouldn’t record it if she could… but in these ending chapters and their battle scene there is the distinct possibility that she may never write anything down again…

I’ll let you wonder why that may be and hope that I haven’t given anything away. 

You never know, I might leave it all at a bloody end right there. After all, I do so like destroying the lives of my characters and putting them in pain. Happy hypothesising and please don’t forget to comment!

(Lyrics in the title are from Roses And Butterflies by Making April)