Why do you delete somebody out of your life? Maybe because part of you can’t bear that they’re there any more. Or maybe it’s because it hurts to see them, hear them, breathe them…
It’s so easy to erase… at least only with technology.
And typing that has made me realise how I’ve tried to do what Clementine does on a whim in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Except I can’t erase everything. Just like her.
I put my heart in a letter the other night. This letter will probably never see its recipient. It was never meant to be posted anyway – it was just a way to help me get to sleep and stop thinking things out.
A very good friend of mine, one of the best, once told me about how writing letters to people (even if you don’t send them) can help you to deal with things. Maybe it’s because you get out the things you want to say but can’t since you don’t have to worry about what the other person will think and how they’ll react.
Some of us are trapped by thoughts of others (hence my Rabbit Hearted Girl post).
I wish people were braver than they are. It seems to me that, these days, nobody stands up for who or what they love. They just hide it all away in the background and carry on doing what everyone else wants them to do.
Why do people do that?
I know I used to be one of the culprits for this kind of behaviour. Hell, sometimes I still am, but I like to think that I’m a lot braver and a lot stronger than I used to be. I won’t say it was easy making the change, because it wasn’t.
And I don’t feel the same. La la la…
Ahem. I’m sorry you had to walk in on that. Except I’m not. I’m feeling quite bouncy and happy and I’m sure certain people that read this will know why… but as of yet it’s still an almost secret.
But I promise, dear readers, that I’ll tell you soon. In other news… I’ve been doing a lot more photography for that band that I’ve been hanging around with.
