Another lyrically titled post. You know what that means. Yeah, another rambling post from yours truly about everything going on at the moment.
I feel like I’m complaining a lot, but then I feel I have a lot to complain about. Sadly, I can’t tell you half of it as they’re family issues. Suffice to say they’re getting me down and tightening me up with stress.
And I’m feeling rough. Not sure why. My brain has been all over the place. I keep forgetting things – even when I’m in the place that I want to be for the things I’ve forgotten, but even though I know there is something missing my brain is just not getting it.
I also feel sickly and headachey, though. Perhaps I am due one of my god awful nightmares for being so stressed all the time. There just doesn’t seem to be a moment where I stop, at the minute. Even in my dreams I’m racing around trying to fix stuff.
The typewriter leaks ink on the muddied floor of my mashed up mind, but here in white crayon the letters unfold beneath blue splattered lines. I have scribbled in unfathomable words the discord of heart crimes and regrets. A waxen figure cuts the page, all pale silhouette.
A character of bittersweet memory and cloaked intent, she is my queen of disconnection.
Her tongue stabs with paper cuts in inkblot stains. This is my saviour. This is my wax scrawled beauty, half-sighted and sore. In broken dreams she haunts me.
…under the lamppost?
Yeah, lyrics again.. I can’t help it. Sometimes this modern day poetry is all that makes sense. I’m feeling a little better this morning. A little more comfortably numb. I had a mini sort of breakdown in the corner of my mind and took myself off for a walk in the dark and the cold by the canal.
I’m so tired and so stressed out, but when I try to sleep thoughts just push on in and mess with my head. Lyrics and questions and problems and too many answers. I’m driving myself up the wall. And when I do that I post it all here or tumblr if it’s to specific people who I don’t reckon will read it.
Continue reading “Do You Remember The Way I Held Your Hand…”
