Most Ardently

The thing that I was worrying about is all clear. Negative not positive. So that’s good, really, even though a small part of me is kind of disappointed. I suppose that’s to be expected.

The title of this post is taken from a scene in Pride & Prejudice. My favourite scene, in fact, which is probably because I can see myself in it doing exactly what Elizabeth does because she’s too proud and too hurt, despite the fact she obviously quite likes Mr Darcy. The moment when he says it and you can see his heart in his eyes is so beautiful.

It’s rare anyone truly looks at you like that.

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A Demon In My Safest Haven

It’s strange when the things that you once took for granted as bits of fun and a joke between friends becomes something you suddenly can’t think about any more. I won’t go on about it, though.

Today is one of my good days where I can pretend that nothing has happened and it wouldn’t do to ruin that. Pretending probably isn’t the best thing I can do, but it’s better than remembering every little touch, I guess. I know that if I do that I’ll drive myself to tears and I don’t want to.

Hanging with great friends is helping keep me distracted. Distraction is all I can do for the most part. That and focus on other worries that I have and other stresses. There are so many that I worry I may end up with yet another migraine, dragged on by all my anxious thoughts.

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Here I Am, A Rabbit Hearted Girl

I wish people were braver than they are. It seems to me that, these days, nobody stands up for who or what they love. They just hide it all away in the background and carry on doing what everyone else wants them to do.

Why do people do that?

I know I used to be one of the culprits for this kind of behaviour. Hell, sometimes I still am, but I like to think that I’m a lot braver and a lot stronger than I used to be. I won’t say it was easy making the change, because it wasn’t.

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