I’m late! I’m late!
And I apologise profusely due to an extremely busy week!
& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!
You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.
But for now, let’s get to the winners!
The Written Prompt
bludgeoned cochineal
Runner Up Mentions
@LupusAnthropos –
A great way to get in both prompts! Loved the different nature of this piece.
@klingorengi –
Lovely description and an alluring tale that really makes the reader hope for the protagonist.
Overall Winner
@reravelling –
Another fantastic story that really grabbed the heartstrings.
Winning Entry
Taking a deep breath at the front door, listening to her yelling I remembered our hard fought past battles. Today’s outburst hadn’t been ignited by teenage PMT or an overdose of E numbers at a birthday party.
In rage she had bludgeoned the old bottle of cochineal food colouring; the glass bottle that had once belonged to my mother. These days you can only buy artificial Barbie pink; more than just beetles were crushed and harmed in adorning every surface with crimson stains.
Fortunately still holding the umbrella I deflected the bag of flour by a quick thinking flick of the switch. I had never been its intended victim; another innocent bystander.
As I lowered my shield she collapsed sobbing in my arms.
Surveying the disaster zone of a kitchen one thing I knew for sure, cleaning this mess would be far easier than piecing together my daughter’s broken heart.
Critique Mentions
Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.
Whittling the results down to find critiques this week was incredibly hard and hopefully you can see why with the excellent entries that were received.
@jezri1 –
Loved the story, but you know how picky I have to be sometimes and there was a misspelling of ‘Vegan’ in there.
@fetterslopez –
I’m not sure what it was about the line ‘dropping her to lie’ but it felt a little awkward to me. ‘To lie’ seems unnecessary to me. Emphasis on how she was lying beside the bludgeoned cochineal could have been added in an extra short sentence to create more impact.
@samthewlis –
Humorous and factual – a difficult combination – but, again, I have to be picky and there was a small fault in that a full stop was missing between the end of a sentence and a closing speech mark.
So thank you to all of those who entered. The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you in your writing as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!
Click here to read the mentioned entries.
| [Did you enjoy this post?] |
| [Why not leave a comment or check out my books?] |
