Torrential Sunbeams

There seems to be a strange amount of doing stuff in my life right now. That might explain why I’m not quite so active on twitter and such right now. I can access it on my phone if I’m really desperate but I don’t like to really.

It’s not such a bad balance of my time, though. I’m working AND seeing people/relaxing, which is always good. Getting sorted with the new job, too.

Things are just going deceptively well right now. I’m sure they’re just lulling me into a false sense of security. They must be. Especially enjoying the extra time I’m getting to spend with someone.

And here in no particular order is some random pieces of my poetry:

A kiss like this
Would be hard to miss.
A kiss like this
Would be a kind of bliss.

A human touch
That is felt so much
Beneath the skin
Where I let you in.

An aching home
For your hands to roam
With a melt intent
That will leave all breath spent. 


Dreaming of a hope that was meant to die
I pushed foul words in your eagle eye.
You burned the bridges that gave us faith
And turned us from our honest ways. 
I angled for the better storm
But you drained the blood that kept us warm.
Like a python in the night
Selling only a deadly sight
I understood your seasoned soul
But fell apart with the unreasoned goal. 
Oh helpless children fought your stare
But still took uniforms as their maiden wear.
They’d seen the bridges burning true,
A heartless hurt you’d gave from you.
I wait in shadowed silence and
Hold the dagger in my hand.
If Mercy was to me a friend
It would not have sold me this final end.
Storms have passed and worn me thin
Whilst everything that you take in
Has turned you fat with heart to stone,
Unquestioned mass and jellied bone.
And when I strike, I take you out.
A final curtain, not a shrilling doubt.
We are done. We end. We are at best
Close, tainted in our deathly rest.


Blank paper.
Thoughts and feelings. 
Cold caper.
Contained dealings.


Faded amber under stilled fingers,
Of breaths and delicious kisses,
Male scent on skin lingers,
Stumbling on near misses.
Words I could have said before
But didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t.
Tempted to voice something denied,
But frightened by the past & men who’d lied.
Treat you how I’d want to be treated.
Kiss you. Love you. Be completed.
Rebound’s not a pleasant thing.
And not you if you were wondering.
I am unvoiced on feelings. Held back.
Don’t want to be too much. Keep you.

And I really want to keep you. Hold you.
Love you. Trust you.

So far, three out of four ain’t bad.
You have my lips trained already,
Moving them to happy from sad.
Smooth skin and lovers hands,
Soft mouth that takes me in,
Whispered words somehow understands
The need for your need.
Your fantasy.
Of me. 
To hear it in my ear,
Tones vibrate against my skin
Shivers spanning in a way to sear
My already high strung flesh,
Is something akin to ridiculous,
Is something aching delicious,
In discovery of how I could be,
How I would be, how I am
In your exquisite eyes
So finely laced with light lashes
That despite the tries
Stick with me even in sleep, too.

Let me keep you…?


I am dead
I am dying
I am burning
I am crying
I am wishing
I am hurting
I am failing
Not comforting
Please forgive me
Please caress me
Please understand me
Please don’t stress me
Can you need me? Can you want me?
Can you try too hard to trust me? 
Can you hold me? Can you love me?
Can you not forget to dust me? 
Can you kiss me?
Can you miss me? 
Can you not forget to frisk me?
I want to love you. Want to hug you.
Want to try hard not to bug you.
Let’s not hurry, cause a flurry
And try hard not to worry.


I want to create something beautiful for you
But these words they never seem enough. 
I want you to understand there’s a part of you
That got tangled up in all my rough.
And I can’t seem to shake it free
Because of what it means to me
I’d rather that it still stay stuck.
This isn’t all biology,
The meandering of poetry,
Or a half-forgotten storybook.


Lips. Lips.
Touch me with your fingertips.
Grope. Grope.
String me up in lover’s rope.
Scream. Scream.
Show me what I mean. Mean…
You. You-
I love all the things you do.


I hold you close and you don’t touch.
We whisper things but it’s not much.
You break your back; I carry you home:
Some place that we could be truly alone.


Break Up Café

Take me to dinner,
Write me a song.
You are the winner;
Now it won’t be long. 
Break my defences,
Write me a note.
Charge my offences
And I’ll get my coat. 
Change for the coffee.
The bubbles don’t float.
Flowers for the sorry
And the message you wrote.
I’ll believe it was me;
That I was no good.
We’ll say our goodbyes
Like I knew that we would.
We’ll struggle through traffic;
We’re late for the train.
Get home to the quiet
Where the silence is pain. 
You’ve packed all your bags;
Clothes, coat and money.
I’m such a fool; 
I should have seen this coming…


Interrupted Secrets

Mouth too much to take.
Boldness too loud to brake.
Beating heart. Lover’s drum.
One more breath to succumb. 
Exhale. Inhale. Let go.
Eyes that close and feel for flow.
Fingers, chest and trembling breast.
Whimpers, groans and all the rest.
Then parted quick with heated cheek
By friends who do not lovers seek.
Their voices spill and fill the gap
With noisy words that overlap
And scribble in the need taut air
That lingers before their unseeing stare.



It sticks in the back of my throat –
Affluence and after taste;
All dolled up and nowhere to go.
An alcoholic expense waste.
I think I’ll get my coat.
The bottle tips a little more.
Fine words and gestures.
Anything that can implore
Me to stay a little longer;
The alcoholic friend whore.
I sit and swill my glass,
Think of rain, underneath the underpass,
Ignoring the melody of talk.
Bubbles on my tongue
But the taste makes me baulk.
Swallow, smile, make friends.
“She’s so delicious – follows trends.”
Swallow, smile, agree.
Head dull. Feeling tipsy. 
All the words begin to bore.
Listening but mind’s at the door.
It reaches out to a rainy walk
But they just bust open another cork.
Sickly sweet with a bitter stick;
If only I could cut loose quick.

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