Roses By The Stairs

My room is tidy. Well, mostly… There are bits of grass from my shoes that I haven’t swept up yet, but still… it’s tidy.

And you know I’d said I needed more money etc? Well, I finally got an extra job. Not sure of my hours yet, but it’ll be nice to have extra monies coming in.

I know, I know… Took me long enough. My mum is always nagging me about getting another job like it’s as easy as pie. I wish it was because then I would have gotten one sooner.

I had a good feeling about this one, though, for some reason. Took me maybe 24hrs and the certainty that it wouldn’t be a waste of my money if I did get it for me to steel myself and call.

See, that’s the thing. When I really set my mind to something, I’ll pursue it properly. Otherwise I just flounder about in indecision, which is terrible. It’s like I’m stuck in Limbo and can’t get out.

That’s what it is with my writing. Determination.

I know I’ve been distracted lately or busy and not doing as much as I should, but I will get on with it. I will sort it and do it.

I get nagged about that as well. After I’ve been berated for not doing this, that and the other in the house (chores) because I’ve been trying to catch up on my writing or making myself heard on the ‘net so you beautiful people can find this here blog and perhaps enjoy my writing.

But if I neglect my writing so I don’t get an ear bashing over my chores it inevitably leads to the conversation where my mum goes, “Haven’t you finished it yet? You need to get on with it then. Then you can buy me and your dad this, that and the other.”

She doesn’t seem to understand that even if I become a published writer, I probably won’t make a tonne of money. Hell, I know that.

She also seems to think it happens with a click of your fingers. Um… no.

I do this because writing is like breathing to me.

There are other things I’d like to tell you about too. You all know how I like to let you all into my thoughts and my life through this here place.

And now I’ve paused writing this because for once I’m unsure how to phrase anything. Like I said in my last thoughts post, I’m happy. And those of you who read here a lot will know how much of a state I had been in emotionally… I don’t want to go into detail about that again.

Suffice to say that it just wasn’t a good place and my stay was prolonged by cruelness, really. But hopefully you’ve noticed my recovery over the past months. Moreso in the last couple as I gradually pushed certain claws out of my skin.

And now I’m in a good place. And I like this good place. And I like the new friends I’ve found in it. And the someone else who I would never have entertained thoughts of getting close to until I’d sorted myself out. Not because I wouldn’t want to but because I don’t do treating people as rebound relationships.

So um yeah… There is a someone. A nice someone. And I’m not saying more than that now anyway… Mostly because I’ll get shy and tongue tied and not know what to say.

And now I feel stronger. And happier. And like things are going to go well, at least for a time.

And now I’m going to shut up and let you get on with your day without my incessant rambling about the random happenings of my life.

Also: Happy birthday to my dear Timony Souler.

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3 thoughts on “Roses By The Stairs”

  1. I love that you're happy, you deserve it more than anyone I know. And thank you for the birthday wishes, dearest, now where's my bloody present? =P

  2. Happy is very good, and I hope you at least have fantasy of making a tonne of money from your writing–because whether I expect them to happen or not I find those fantasies fun to kick back with after finishing a piece I'm proud of–and just reading your flash pieces I think you have work to be proud of.

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