9th #SatSunTails Winners!

& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

Runner Up Mentions

@JohnBBadd –

There was something just exquisite and powerful about the way John chose to tell his tale.

@jezri1 –

Narrated with real feeling, I personally liked the gentle upturn in the finale of this short rather akin to a frown moving to a smile.

Andrew –

There was a strong connection between the reader and the voice o the protagonist in this entry. And with those last lines, it was as if we could feel the speaker’s resignation and sorrow.

Overall Winner

@charitygirlblog –

Irritatingly wonderful at these challenges, something about this particular entry really struck me. It’s Meg’s brilliant use of imagery that brings the piece to life.

Winning Entry

Sunlight on water. I throw a stone and watch it fragment, scatter into flecks of gold. Fairy treasure, I think. Or I would have thought that once. I would have seen dryads in the trees, heard whispers on the wind.

Looking down I see my mother’s hands where mine once where. Broad, capable, worn by life. Red palms, blunt nails. Caring hands, working hands. I loved my mother’s hands but I don’t love mine.

Splash.

A child’s shout breaks my reverie. He drags an old stick from the water, laughs for the sheer pleasure of it. It’s a sword in his hand; he’s a knight, a soldier.

I smile.

Dreams. Fantasies. Truth.

They don’t age, not really. I see the gold on the water once more, iridescent. It’s an enchantment cast by the Lady of the Lake. And I? I’m a sorceress. A queen.

Myself again.

Leaning back on the bench I laugh.

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it.

Lilianna Vetter –

There were places in this piece that needed the pause for breath that commas give when reading to help break up the more confusing sentences. A way to solve this is by reading aloud and adding in commas where you hear yourself naturally pause. Another method is to cut up the longer sentences into shorter ones.

@leo_godin –

There was no real problem with Leo’s tale. In fact, I quite enjoyed it, but I did think that it was a little lacking in plot to some of the others. Of course, that’s hard to do with such a small word count, which is the reason why it helps to strengthen our writing in general because we learn how to cram information into small pockets using the subtlest methods.

@solimond –

Again, I enjoyed this piece but there was a small mistake with ‘their’ instead of ‘they’. The only thing I can say is to try to proof read more thoroughly before you submit.

So thank you to all of those who entered.  The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the mentioned entries.

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