An awful lot has happened this year. I think I preferred 2010. At least that year had some wholeness and happiness to it. So much seems to have gone wrong this year.
A terrible photo of me from this year’s Xmas Eve.
It didn’t start particularly promisingly with my mum getting so ill and us thinking that she’d had a mini stroke and, in all honesty, it hasn’t ended well either. Maybe the curse of the odd year will leave me for the even one. Maybe it will all get a smidgen better than it has been.
I can hope all I want for that When Harry Met Sally New Year’s Eve, but I don’t think it’s going to come so the best I can do is hope for 2012 to be better.
My family didn’t get much for each other for Christmas this year. We’re all pretty brassick as far as money goes, so we barely have the money to get each other things, but it’s fine. Everyone else is in the same boat.
Still, we managed to have some Christmas cheer this time around with no arguments and no sulking. The dinner was great, yet I couldn’t quite finish it all. I’d been drinking the night before with my brother and my lovely friend Charlotte, which was great. I guess everyone on my twitter and facebook may have noticed a lot of disappearances drinking lately.
Me & Charlotte on Christmas Eve
Drowning sorrows. It’s got to stop, I know. I need to stop all of this going out and getting blathered because it solves nothing. Smiling for the camera is easier.
Anyway, it stops my writing from being up to par too. It’s sort of died its own death and I need so desperately to revive it. It’s feels like I’ve lost the ability to write in the past few months and that isn’t on purpose. I guess part of it might be focus and part of it might be having the heart to do it.
A lot of things tie into my feelings and the creative side of me is sadly tied to them. I guess that’s why most of what I write tends to be darker things with the occasional touch of hope thrown in. Everything I’ve ever written has been tinged with darkness.
Maybe some day I’ll see the light.
Anyway… I hope you had yourself a merry little Christmas and made the Yuletide gay. & from now on may your troubles be far away.
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