The #Brainhamster

If you follow me on that thing that is twitter or you regularly read the twitter updates that loop on the twitter widget I have on the blog, you may have noticed a rather alarming amount of my posts about…

The #Brainhamster!


So what is the #brainhamster?

Is he a crazy little rodent I have bought and allowed to live uselessly in a cage in my room, thereby giving me no investment and no point in having his furry fat self?

And why am I blogging about it?

Is it because I’ve finally lost the plot and have decided to just go all out and terrify you with the insanity that gaily skips through my mind everyday?

Well, the answers to these questions are here…

#Brainhamster has been making regular appearances on my twitterfeed ever since @thefourpartland and I began discussing him and since that kind of let the hamster out of the ball (so to speak) I continued tweeting about the little rat. Certain people (@thefourpartland) seem to think that I don’t treat my #brainhamster very fairly.

Of course I do.

Besides… I bought him… I can do what I like with him…

The #brainhamster is a small creature that lives in my brain (and there’s probably one in yours too). His job is to keep my brain ticking along smoothly. He’s not always very good at this job. Apparently, constant running is against his union rules.

To hell with his rules.

I bought him. The little critter is mine. He gets paid in plenty of feed and he has his very own purple wheel to power my brain.

Admittedly, I did have a second #brainhamster who lived with him until recently. Unfortunate events took place wherein my brain motherboard was burned quite horrifically, destroying a lot of my short term memory banks. Oh, and his mate died. She was frazzled to death on the fire like a hamster that’s crawled in the space under an oven and can’t get back out.

The remaining hamster will tell you that I started the fire. He’s convinced that I did it to get the life insurance policy that I had on both of them in case I needed to get replacements.

It’s an obvious lie. Why would I start a fire in my own brain? Do I sound insane to you?

Of course, the loss of a #brainhamster means a loss of power unless my ungrateful #brainhamster keeps his furry little backside in motion in that wheel. He says I work him too hard, but he doesn’t understand that I need him to.

As a writer, I need all of my faculties when I’m scribbling. If he slows to a trot I can’t access them.

This is why the #brainhamster must keep running and why @thefourpartland is wrong. I do not mistreat my inner brain rodent. My inner brain rodent mistreats me!

How can I write when his wheel stops? I don’t have any energy left! It shouldn’t be ‘save the #brainhamster’ it should be save me!

So next time you see my little hash tag about the critter that lives in my head, you should pity me in the knowledge that he isn’t doing his job properly. You should start special fundraising day’s to save me from the irresponsible rat and his carelessness.

And then you should support me by telling your crazy little #brainhamster to get to work too!

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