A Human Being & Not An Object

I would like to start this journal entry with something that is utterly profound and considered thorough genius… but I can’t because I am neither of these things.

I’m having a weird evening. The bus actually picked me up some time near when it was supposed to, for one thing. Yesterday, it was far too early (because I was there early) and I had to wait a whole hour for the stupid thing to turn up. Standing outside in the freezing cold (at least it didn’t snow on me again for the entire hour) in a godforsaken village with no means of getting home except via bus… was not what I’d had in mind for my evening. Of course, I’d had to go into town as well (instead of catching the mile earlier stop near my house). That evening got more bizarre when I decided to get something to eat from the takeaway and the guy tried to chat me up. Maybe it’s just where I live, but all of the guys in the takeaways try to chat you up. It really annoys me and puts me on edge. I can’t deal with being chatted up. This wall comes down and I back away. I think that’s part of the reason why I keep getting so annoyed with the random guys who send messages on myspace. My picture on there may be nice… but what right does that give you to call me ‘babe’ and act like a total knob head whilst trying to get me to agree to speak to you? None is the correct answer. Such guys receive no reply because if I gave one it would be something snarky and I don’t want to ruin any of my day by being snarky to losers who can’t use standard English or figure out that I am a human being and not an object.

Anyway, I got home and had to tidy around a bit because my brother is clearly useless and doesn’t know what mess is. He also seems incapable of turning his music down and letting the dog out in the back garden when he gets in. It’s not much to ask, is it? So I laid down on the sofa and had a nap until my mum came in – it’s pointless trying to nap in my room because all I can hear is my brother’s music (asking him to turn it down results in a pathetic, abusive tantrum that seventeen year olds should not be having at that age). When my mum came in, she woke me up. I’m not even sure what it was that made me as angry as I was when I woke. If I’m honest, I was probably dreaming something that irritated me. So I came upstairs after having a mini argument and went back to sleep. This means I have yet to eat my dinner and it’s nearly 11pm. I’ll do it soon, but yeah… Such has been my night.

Can you tell that he’s doing a stellar job of winding me up? Sometimes I wonder why I even bother in regards to him. He doesn’t appreciate anyone but himself. It’s a case of narcissism that I don’t think he’ll ever get over. Shame really. I mean the only other person he sort of cared about was his ex. And I think what she did was cruel. I’ve been in his position and it’s horrible, but the one thing that is making it worse is that her mother is getting herself involved, as thus illustrated (you may have to click the image to see it in full):

Maybe I’ve been a bit harsh, but honestly I don’t think you should get involved in your children’s relationships. The girl is 15 now. She should be learning to stand on her own two feet, especially as she seems to think that she’s so grown up. Anyway, I’ll say no more because I’m not getting involved. I know what she’s put my brother through and got him to do in his stupidity so there’s no point in my saying anything else. Her mother just needs a reality check.

Oh… And by the way, my brother’s ex since deleted me as a friend and then deleted the comment. If you can’t take good advice then don’t attempt to dish bad advice out.

I’m glad it’s the weekend. TGIF and all of that jazz. I might be able to get some more editing done this weekend. We’ve finished our block of placement, though we are in next Wednesday again. It’s been really good, but I am really quite exhausted at the minute (hence the dreadful sleeping in the day). It has, however, made me feel more like I can do this and that I’m not just blundering through life blindfold, which is the sort of feeling that I had before. Every now and again, I have a little panic and think I’m a failure, so it’s nice when I get to the confidence patch.

Hopefully this confidence will infuse into my writing some more, too. I hope to finish at least another chapter of editing by the end of the weekend. Whether this will be achieved or not is debatable. I’ll keep you posted on progress, though.

Also, there are two days left to vote on the poll. If the tie break isn’t broken I may put up another poll with the two results as options. We’ll see, then, which is the more popular title. My bet is on plain old Secrets but I could very well be wrong.