Where: On the sofa
Listening to: Hide and Seek – Imogen Heap
Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP, MSWord
Your trouble is that you don’t listen. Your world is practically, hence why you don’t understand me a single iota. I am not practical. I am not happy with this misery of an existence. I am not you. I am me and I will never be you. My practical side does not appear unless helping others. I am idealistic. I am unreal. I am not of this world. I am of my world. And my world does not interact with yours. My world is suspended in disbelief. My world is an escapist’s haven. That’s why I live there, wrapped in its fragile folds. And every time you shatter that fragile wall, you break me a little more inside. You don’t realise this and no one ever does. Your words are like a battering ram to the soft drums of my ears. I don’t expect you to ever understand this. And you won’t read this because, for you, it would mean entering my world and that is something you are clearly uncomfortable with. My bubble is far too frightening and floaty for you, despite the warm reception you would get.
It takes a while for you to be accepted, though. You’ll be watched for every step until the inhabitants are sure of you… and if you frighten or hurt them, you will just get a barrage back until you are back outside their walls. And these walls will be quickly, but badly plastered, and they will continue to guard them because that is what they do. Whilst the injured lick their wounds, the angry will hang around to stave you off. The more you try and force the inhabitants out, the more they will resist. And this is me, but you don’t seem to understand that…
Few people seem to understand that…
But you’d think that you would. You’re supposed to be closer to me than other people, but you feel like an acquaintance.
I hate being me… It’s so lonely. Nobody is allowed in because the people I let in hurt me. And every time I let them in, they get closer and closer to the heart of the city. I can’t afford to let them in any more. I don’t even let my best friends in that deep. This can’t be happening… I like this song. It fits the current mood.
Nobody is allowed beyond the city walls again. Nobody. Ever. They are closed for eternity. No more heartache.
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