Ethereal Entity #22

Where: In bed still.

Listening to: Find Your Way Back – Michelle Branch

Tabs open: Facebook, SD chatroom, Twitter

Programs open: Msn, Chrome, WMP

Today would have been the anniversary of him asking me out. Yeah. I thought it was getting close anyway, but it’s kind of a kick in the teeth to be woken by a calendar alarm you’d thought you’d removed after having a strange dream about said person. I’m not out of bed yet. Sure it’s the afternoon, but I’ll get up after I’ve written this. I need to throw my thoughts down. Then I need a large cup of tea. A very large cup.

My left ear was burning quite hot last night. They say left for love and right for spite, yeah? Well, anyway. It was burning and the last time my ear burned it was because I’d major-ly pissed off James in an argument. That was about two years ago, but still. It was an odd enough sensation then. Can’t think of anyone who’d have been talking about me in such a fashion at nearly 3am so… I’d rather like to know, as well. According to my horoscope, I’m supposed to be very intuitive today. So great, if somebody was talking about me. If not then maybe I have something wrong with my left ear.

I’m into editing Chapter 3 of DSotM. I’m hoping to finish up editing as soon as possible so I can finish off Book 3. Book 3 is right near the end and there are some major scenes coming up so it needs all of my concentration, really. Book 4 is going to be fantastic fun considering the many things that happen in it. I just need to get there so that I can write it, which involves finishing off 3 first. And to finish 3 I really want DSotM in order. It’s all relative, really, at the minute. Sadly, I don’t think it’ll all get in order too fast because I have so much other junk to sort out too. It’s horrendous.

Also need to re-colour my hair. I got a brighter red this time. Still Feria, but yeah. I quite like being a red head and tbh I think it suits me. I always wanted to dye it red… just never had the conviction. Sometimes I get nostalgic for my brown hair but meh. If I hadn’t been quite so pissed off I might have talked myself out of buying the colour again. Kinda glad I was pissed off but at the same time; ugh. Still, the red suits me better than something like blonde would. I’d rather be a red head. They have more fun… and the colour suits my underlying nature. Ha ha. My hair’s still quite long despite the fact that I had it cut before it was dyed. First time it had been properly cut in years. I think the fact that I was so angry, though, has kind of helped me in certain areas. Pushing myself because certain things said really pissed me off. You don’t tell me I’m too afraid to do stuff or whatever because my illogical mind goes: Right! Well to hell with you! I’ll show you! I’m not afraid. I will do this. And then you’ll see! It’s the same with people who tell me to do stuff or suggest that I do something. I start assuming I’m useless so there’s no point in my even trying and the more people go on the more I just carry on head first into my little cloud of desolation and ruin. It’s totally stupid and I wish I didn’t but it’s like a weird instinctual reaction. I just start worrying that I’m letting people down… which only leads to me crawling off into my little escapists’ realm.

Right, to get dressed anyway.

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