Stress, Cameras, Drawers, & Time Out

It’s been an incredibly stressful couple of weeks; hence the lack of posting and updates. Mostly, I’ve been working or tidying or just stressing out. In fact, I’ve had maybe a couple of small meltdowns at home over the past fortnight.

And for this, I apologise to my darling Bear for putting up with me. I don’t mean to get so worked up or become so tense.

There have been a few instances of raised voices, crying & then just hiding in bed. I’m kind of embarrassed about them, but, as some of you may know, writing things out in this blog can be a stress reliever and that’s why I’m quietly exploring them here.

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Carry On, My Wayward Son

Okay, so we’ve been watching a little too much Supernatural at the moment in my house, but the sentiment is still the same. It’s been a damn long week and a busy one at the old, bill paying job. This is simultaneously good and bad. Good because more hours means more money, which means less financial stressors. And bad because more hours means being more tired and less time at home, which means less writing time.

Basically, my time at home has simply been to veg out in front of the wonderful faces of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki (and now Misha Collins too since we’re a bit further through the box set) whilst falling asleep.

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Valerian Root, Hearts, Boilers & Lists

Despite the fact that I’ve been doing quite a few hours at the day job lately and am incredibly tired, I’m still no closer to finding a way to fall asleep easily. My brain doesn’t shut off until after one nearly every night. It’s terribly frustrating.

And, of course, the more that I want to go to sleep, the longer I will end up lying awake.

It’s gotten to the point where I’ve heavily invested in herbal teas. In particular, I ordered a lot of valerian root tea. It is well known for its sleep inducing properties, but it’s also effective as a stimulant to cats.

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Stationary Therapy

Hi guys. I’m not going to be very buzzy in this post, I’m afraid. I seem to be in a bit of a slump and currently there’s no way out and the more people ask me if I’m alright the more, inevitably, I feel like I must be pretty awful.

I know I’m not, though. I know I’m functioning pretty normally for the most part. I just feel a bit… not me, inside. And that’s nothing I can really help at the minute.

There’s no real reason for it as far as I can tell. It could be a combination of things or just nothing at all, as I suspect.

Mostly, I’m just a bit down. It’s not even really a feeling of being down. Just a feeling of nothingness, which is quite often a hard feeling to deal with. And the nothingness can be quite upsetting, especially when it’s pointed out over and over again.

So if anyone is asking: Yes. I am fine. Please do not ask any more.

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