Horror Movie Survival Kit–[Top Ten Items]

I had an email recently from the cool guys behind ManCrates. They’re a gift service that specializes in crates for men that contain awesome gifts. The idea is that you have to open them with a crowbar to get into the goodies inside. Pretty cool in my opinion.

In fact, screw men. I want a crate I have to jemmy with a crowbar. Why should fellas have all the fun?

Although, to be fair, it would probably take me forever to open it, even with a big hunk of metal to help. I could, however, get Howard Bear to wrench it open for me, which might be useful when it comes to the subject of today’s post….

Like I said, @ManCrates contacted me with that age old question: what do you need in a horror movie/apocalypse survival crate?

So I gave it a lot of thought (and tried not to peek at Icy’s version) and came up with a list of ten items plus a bonus piece. Of course, I could have had Mr Bear added to my survival kit (because who doesn’t need an extra hand) but I figured that if there really was an apocalypse or I was stuck in some kind of horror flick, then he’d already be there right by my side.

So here’s the list….

1) Lock Pick Swiss Army Knife
(& instructions)

I mean, what else do you need to get into places and things? But lock picking isn’t really a skill of mine so an instruction manual? I think that would be pretty damn helpful. And hey, after a while, I might just get pretty proficient so I can chuck the manual and quickly unlock a door to escape the zombie horde.

2) Sam & Dean’s Journal

Well, it might not be a zombie apocalypse and who knows better how to deal with a bazillion different supernatural bad guys than the Winchester brothers?

Nobody, that’s who.

And John Winchester never faced the monsters his boys have so why would I want his journal?

3) Doggie

Yeah, I do have Howard as my companion, but dogs are useful. If we got separated, my imaginary new pet would be able to track Bear’s scent and lead me to him. It would also help to guard us.

And hey, maybe I just want a fluffy to make the horror a little bit better.

4) First Aid Kit

This is essential. In fact, I don’t think I even need to explain just why this would be an awesome idea to have in a survival crate.

5) Insightful Books

And by that I mean survival cookery books, health encyclopaedias, and survival in the wild guides.

6) A Solar Powered Charger

Maybe not the most essential thing, but hey. It could be that I really desperately need to charge something and this is the only way I can do it. If it’s horror movie then I might need my phone (because we all know that batteries go dead at the worst moment).

7) A Foldable Bicycle

I know these exist (don’t make fun of me ;P). They’re not as fast as a car or a motorbike but they don’t take any fuel except for my own energy. Not to mention, a foldable bike is fairly easy to carry and store compared to making sure you had a car/motorbike nearby. Furthermore, it’s much easier to find energy for me than it will be to find petrol in a post apocalyptic world.

8) Water Purification Tablets

Supposing the post apocalypse scenario, I have to assume that nobody is providing sewerage services any more and we need drinkable water. Water purification tablets can help me and Bear (and the possible dog) with a lot of that.

9) A Small Selection of Spirits

I’m not an alcoholic. I promise. BUT… If any antiseptic runs out then I can use some spirits to clean cuts and whatnot. It can also help with a little post apocalypse seduction. I mean, it’s hard to find an intimate setting in a zombie infested future, right? So a couple of spirits might give anybody a hand to forget about half-dead creatures.

There’s also the fact that they can be transformed into those spicy Molotov cocktails that can come in handy for any crowd of zombies. Once they’ve all been exploded, another little bottle of spirits or two to celebrate.

And, after years of playing The Legend of Zelda, I know that the empty bottles are also pretty good for storing things!

10) Sword

Okay, this one maybe isn’t for everyone, but I’m not too bad with a sword and I reckon a nice sharp one could help lop off those zombies’ heads. Not to mention, I don’t have to reload a sword.

Bonus) Crossbow

I know, it has to be reloaded. However, at least with a crossbow I should be able to whittle myself a couple of extra crossbow bolts with my Swiss army knife and get my dog to retrieve anything I shoot as food.

And that’s my complete list. Do you guys have any better ideas?

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