34th #SatSunTails Winners

& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

The Written Prompt

darkened empathy

Runner Up Mentions

@xbluestockingx

A great piece that keeps the reader rapt until the very end. I love how everything is slowly revealed like the unfolding of a mystery.

@klingorengi

As usual, a great story with thought provoking connotations.  

@Leo_Godin

The description from the beginning was amazing, drawing us straight into the world you created.

Overall Winner

@jezri1

Disturbing and brilliant with a great use of each prompt and the power to hold in the mind after reading.

Daddy’s Girl

Standing at the edge of the woods, Starla glowered, impatient for word that her father had survived. Angry, her empathy for those she used to call friends faded, her mood darkening with every passing minute.

“Starla, come inside.”

Shaking off her mother’s hand, she refused to budge, stiffening when she heard the sound of gunfire.

“It’s for the best. Your father would agree, you know that.”

The others came back, trudging slowly, dejected.

“He got away.”

That night, after everyone had gone to sleep, she slipped out her window, easily bypassing the guards. They were looking for intruders, not runaways.

She went to their favorite spot… somehow she knew he would be there.

“Father,” she said, recognizing his hunched back.

Turning, Hank stumbled towards his daughter, reaching for her. Starla didn’t resist when her father, infected by the zombie virus tore into her neck. Always daddy’s girl, she didn’t want to live without him.

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.

@LurchMunster

As a regular to this competition, you know just how hard it is for me to find things to critique sometimes with the calibre of entries that I get each week. This week is no different. It was a good tale, but I just felt that compared to some of the other entries, there wasn’t as much plot unfolding.

@fetterslopez

I really wanted to include your tale in the runner up mentions but there was one line that caused some contention. ‘Faint as a whisper I heard it followed its second and third cry.’  I assume you meant to add in a comma where I’ve underlined or something else to make this sentence have more sense than it does. Perhaps it should have been ‘heard it, following’ to make it more readable, but that was my only qualm.

So thank you to all of those who entered.  The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you in your writing as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the mentioned entries.

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1 thought on “34th #SatSunTails Winners”

  1. Thanks for the fun. Yes, you are correct there was to be a comma in there. I'd already deleted one post and if I'd had a way to edit vs. delete and repost, I would have just fixed it. Posting while using a phone can be frustrating, but it was fun.I was challanged by @klingorengi. I love his work.

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