18th #SatSunTails Winners

& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

The Written Prompt

incarcerated risks

And yet again, a hard choice between such talented entries!

Runner Up Mentions

@AMarquise

This was disturbing and yet somehow sensuously written.

@caramichaels

A different idea. I liked how unexpected the story was in regards to the two prompts given.

@Lurchmunster

I loved the daring and the fact that the narrator at least slightly admires the projection of the woman despite what he’s warned. Struck me as very 1984-esque.

Overall Winner

@charitygirlblog

Something about the narrative and the way this piece differed from others really struck me. Also the ‘frill of the feathers’ just caught me as such a wonderful line when it could clearly be interpreted as a nod to a thrill too.

Winning Entry

I can’t see her face. No features. Just shadow and shape outlined against the light above me. Typical that – just a little bit lofty.

It’s the frill of feathers that’s the giveaway. Stubby, adolescent, jutting from her back like some fluffed up duckling. She ain’t looked temptation in the eye and walked away. Nah. She’s stuck in the middle, a soul looking to prove herself. And if she don’t? Them pearly gates’ll slam in her face faster than you can say Old Pete and she’ll be down here with the rest of us proles who didn’t make the cut.

With me.

Question is do I want her? Can I be arsed twisting myself into some trussed up version of her darkest fantasy? Or playing the vulnerable baby? It’s a cracker that one, sweet as a nut for them with a martyr complex.

Nah, fuck it. Gabe can have her. This time.

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.

Pippa Jane

Genuinely, my only comment is that there didn’t seem to be a reference to the written prompt and unfortunately that’s part of the rules. If that hadn’t been the case then I dearly would have loved to put this piece in the Runners Up section. 

@solimund

“The feathers fluttered in the air before she started to descend and the shape of the snake too form as it wound around her arms.” – This was my problem. I loved the piece but I didn’t understand this line. I think, perhaps, you missed a word or put a wrong word in and that’s what caused the confusion. Otherwise, a great piece.

@DavidALudwig

“To become vulnerable myself was an acceptable price to approach her in this condition” – this just sounded a little awkward and I wonder if there could have been a better way to phrase it.

So thank you to all of those who entered.  The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the mentioned entries.

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