17th #SatSunTails Winners

& so we have our #SatSunTails winner!

You can help by promoting next week’s #SatSunTails on your blogs, twitter, G+, facebook, tumblr etc, that would be great. Also, if you’re on twitter and you’d like an @reply every weekend in order to remind you that the competition is open then please leave a note regarding this along with your twitter handle in the comments of this post so I can set that up for you.

But for now, let’s get to the winners!

The Written Prompt

angst-ridden repast

And yet again, a hard choice between such talented entries!

Runner Up Mentions

@leo_godin

I really liked this, especially the description of the blood trailing down her foot. Exquisite.

@klingorengi

A different way to view the prompt and certainly one I enjoyed, especially with that powerful ending line.

Overall Winner

@DavidALudwig

I just found this piece to be stunning in its story and the sadness of straining for memories that it invokes.

Winning Entry

The world shakes with the memory of its destruction every time they stampede. After the first couple times I stopped worrying—they don’t know I’m in here.

I remember three, maybe four, days in this concrete crawl space. Stores of food, water and a crude sort of latrine emptying god-knows-where suggest this space was outfitted to wait out the apocalypse. Maybe I did it. The whole nightmare is surreal. I can’t remember how I got here or what happened.

If I tried I might be able to remember, but her picture tells me I don’t want to. When I start to feel numb, she becomes my angst-ridden repast. I look at her sitting coy on a leather chair in the middle of a field, dressed in costume jewelry and a small dress. I feel guilt.

I’m sure I know her. I think I should have protected her.

My shelter has room for one more.

Critique Mentions

Now, as promised, I shall critique those entries that didn’t make it. Sometimes it can literally come down to the smallest things.

@LurchMunster

I loved this until that last line that just jolted out of the fantasy. If it hadn’t been for that I would have enjoyed this much more. Something about it simply didn’t feel right, though. 

@charitygirlblog

The repetition of ‘the bag’ just threw me off when I was reading it. Would have been better if it had read ‘inside’ instead.

@jezri1

Pernickety I know but the same reasoning behind Meg’s critique. It just sounded awkward to repeat leg in the same sentence.

So thank you to all of those who entered.  The criticism is never meant to harm. It is there to help you better your writing and someday win overall. I’m sure it will also benefit those who were not criticised. I hope this has helped you as well as encouraged you to join in again next week!

Click here to read the mentioned entries.

| [Did you enjoy this post?] |
| [Why not leave a comment or check out my latest book?] |