Mr Ben & Mr Jerry – My Best Chocolate Friends

LotR version of Milkshake and some of my random rambling for you today. The journal entry title is, of course, in reference to ice cream and one of my favourite lines from Bridget Jone’s: The Edge of Reason:

I am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. The first called Ben – the other Jerry. Number of current boyfriends… zero.

I’m doing the same thing at the minute. The zero boyfriends thing also applies, but who cares. If I ended up with Daniel Cleaver (again) I might cry. I’ve had one of those guys before. In fact, he used a similar name to Daniel Cleaver as his log-in on a site. I won’t mention who he was. I personally don’t want him popping up on here and giving me grief… or even being nice. That would be… odd, to say the least, and as that part of my life is now over, I see no real reason to dwell on it. I’ve made a post about it that will feature on Leslee Horner’s blog about moments that make you click. So if you want to read it, then I’ll leave a link once it’s been posted. Another Bridget quote (the book is by Helen Fielding and I assure you that it’s a very good read… though I did personally love her Olivia Joulles and the Overactive Imagination – it started out as something I wouldn’t normally pick up and ended in a way that made me feel I was normal because my imaginative paranoia could really come true!) that I rather love, comes at the end of the first film and is this:
Bridget: Wait a minute… nice boys don’t kiss like that. 

Mark Darcy: Oh, yes, they fucking do.

I’d like to say they do… but I’ve never kissed a truly nice boy. In fact, I could only really describe my last ex as being in the same vein as Mr Darcy because… well, he was an arrogant arse sometimes, too, and quite a lot of people thought that of him. Why am I continuing with this verbal diarrhoea when I could be winning a game of dingbats? I have no idea either. I shouldn’t really talk about him. I get the feeling he could discover this and make snarky comments about what are essentially my thoughts. And if he was a ‘nice boy’ then I suppose my previous statement is null and void, because I’ll begrudgingly admit he wasn’t bad and move decidedly onto a new subject. 
Somebody started a facebook page with the title ‘Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard, And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”‘ Of course, this prompted me to continue the song in my head. The original lyrics are Milkshake by Kelis but this is the Lord of the Rings version. I hope it makes you smile:
Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

You know you want it
The ring that makes you hoard it
What Boromir goes crazy for…
He lost his mind,
Fell and died
I think I sighed

la la-la la la,
Hands on swords now
la la-la la la,
The orcs are coming

la la-la la la,
Hands on swords now
la la-la la la,
The orcs are coming

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

You know you want it
Steal it from that hobbit
He’s already mad
Changed inside
Lost his mind
Yes, Sam cried

la la-la la la,
Frodo’s crazy
la la-la la la,
Fellowship’s breaking

la la-la la la,
Frodo’s crazy
la la-la la la,
Fellowship’s breaking

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

Soon you’re separated,
Saruman will fell the trees-and,
They will come and take him down.
Bring on the little hobbits
And their two tiny swords.
Then Gollum steals the ring,
Takes Frodo’s finger too,
Down into the fire mountain,

la la-la la la,
Lost it now,
la la-la la la,
Sauron is crying,

la la-la la la,
Took him down,
la la-la la la,
Hobbits are winning

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

Gandalf brings all the orcs to the yard,
And he’s like, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
And I’m like, “Where’s Legolas?”
He could hit you, but he’s not hard.

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