Where: On my bed
Listening to: Jazz
Programs open: Msn, Chrome, MSWord, WMP
Do you ever wish that you could fall in love with a particular person because you know that they are lovely and that they would treat you right and you’d be so great together? I kinda do… But I just don’t love them and I won’t lie to myself and say that I do. I wouldn’t lie to anyone about that feeling. Nobody should lie about something so beautiful and take its name in vain. Nobody. People just don’t seem to care, though. They’re so fickle. Still, how is it that you fall for somebody that really you shouldn’t like because some of their traits drive you up the wall and you have the same passions and passionate ways so that you could easily end up in a massive fight? And how is it that you should love the ones who can be the cruellest to you and hurt you at your most vulnerable parts? Why can’t you fall for the ones who you can give reasons for loving? I mean, the kind people who listen to your every word and take care of you and let you be who you are and ignore anything you do that could be irritating and they listen to your dreams and encourage you… Why is it that we can’t fall in love with them? Why do we have to love the ones that crush us?
It would be interesting if someone had an answer. I know someone asked me why I loved him once… He seemed to expect that I had an answer. Maybe he thought that I’d tell him it was because I thought he was handsome or I thought he was clever etc etc… I don’t think physical things can contest with a connection. A real connection. How can you give an explanation as to what that is? I mean, what’s the definition of love?
Apparently this is the definition: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Why do you love me? Because I feel profoundly tender and passionate and affectionate for you. But why?
But why indeed. I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for that question. It evades me. For the person I loved before, I can answer. I thought I needed him. But you? No. No idea. Not a clue. I don’t know what it was that made me want to say it to you. I can tell you why I held it back for so long: You weren’t ready to hear it. I don’t think you were even ready to hear it in reply to you..
So reading this, you’re going to assume that I love a man for no reason either because I didn’t really love him or because you can’t really explain why love comes into being. You can’t grow love and you can’t demand its presence. You just can’t control it. It’s there… I guess. Whether you want it or not.
And if you deny it you’re a fool.
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